


Learning, Loving, and Constant Cuddling

by Jabiechan



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Language, Remus antics, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, This got beta read but grammar might still be wack, Touch-starved Remus Sanders, it´s like mentioned a couple times, like a little bit angst for flavor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24619345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jabiechan/pseuds/Jabiechan
Summary: Remus has dealt with the constant ache his entire life, and he didn't accept anything to change. That is until Patton starts complimenting him. It goes downhill for Remus then and there, falling hopelessly in love with the other side and causing his want for affection to get worse. He tries to cope the best way he can, but that can only get you so far.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, intruality - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 128





	Learning, Loving, and Constant Cuddling

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this weird ass fanfic I made over the past week instead of going to sleep. Enjoy!
> 
> (Updated Jun 9, 2020)

It had started off small at first, the coping mechanisms Remus tried to soothe the never ending ache he had; sweaters and sweatshirts were good, the closest he ever could get to a warm hug. Another had been taking hot showers (sometimes in hot lava) when he felt truly deprived and when the ache became truly unbearable. However, he had to admit that stuffed animals were the best way to deal with it, especially after a terrible bad day. They had been handmade by him when he was child, soon after he had split from Roman. Each little plushie represented a side in its own little way, a purple spider with heterochromia, a little yellow snake wearing a small bowler hat, an albino peacock with a little red sash, a little dark blue unicorn with glasses, and the little light blue puppy. They were all nice, but the last one was his personal favorite with its constant smile. Maybe it was because the person he modeled it after was someone who went out of his way to acknowledge Remus, made him actually feel heard. He cuddled closer with the stuffed animal, being reminded of his bright smile, light brown eyes, his messy and curly hair and. . .

Remus groaned, slapping himself in the face so hard that he heard a loud crack in his neck. A bruise began to form on his cheek, but that was the least of his worries. He had thought about Patton, again. He had lost count how many times Patton had popped into his head, and the overwhelming need to be close to him. Bile rose in his throat. He wasn't quite sure when his infatuation started, but it had skyrocketed tremendously over the past few months since he had been revealed to Thomas. Patton had never particularly been interested in Remus before, showing distrust and fear towards him whenever he was around. It didn't really affect him because most of the sides were like that. Then the compliments started.

 _¨You look nice today._ _¨_

_¨Your eyes are pretty.¨_

  
They were small, nothing too special or outlandish (Patton complimented everyone), but it was definitely something new for him. He felt. . . wanted? Loved? It wasn't something he truly remembered feeling before, and he was wary of it. Was Patton just doing all this to change him to be better? A few measly nice words to try and correct whatever he thought was wrong with him? Remus hoped it was not true because contrary to popular belief, he actually loved who he was, every disgusting and immoral thing that kept him separated from the others.

  
It never happened though, just small smiles from Patton and the constant compliments. He felt a warm feeling in his chest after the few compliments (which was disgusting he admitted but ehhh), the validation he started to crave. Then, it changed; the words became more meaningful, and Remus was smitten.  
Despite being Creativity just like brother, Roman, he knew his art and ideas were demented, at least to other people. Countless questions had been asked by the others before, most of them starting with the word why.

  
_Why are you making that? Why is it so weird? Why can't you be normal? What's wrong with you?!_

  
He had currently been working on a self portrait that day, using his own blood as paint for a little extra flair when Patton had walked in. Remus paid no attention, focused on adding a layer of texture to the piece, occasionally glancing at Patton as he walked towards him.

  
¨Hey Rem! Whatcha doin´?¨

  
¨Hey Patton! Making a little self portrait today, and I was hoping someone could review it?¨

  
¨Sure thing kiddo!¨ Patton giggled, and turned towards the canvas. He noticed the slight look of disdain flash across Patton's face that disappeared as quickly as it came. Remus was used to that look, and half expected a backhanded compliment from the other side. He was surprised when then Patton smiled and he felt a small pat on his back, warm and comforting and nothing he had ever experienced before. He leaned a bit into it, unknownst to the other side.

  
¨Wow, it looks amazing! I love it!¨

  
That was odd. Someone approved of his ideas, his creativity? Usually Patton didn't like what he made, the spider pit from a few years ago came to mind.

  
¨You like it?¨

  
¨Yeah! It´s a bit different from other art I´ve seen but I still think there is a beauty to it.¨

¨Oh uh, thank you.¨

  
Remus felt his cheeks go aflame, literally. Patton widened his eyes as Remus´ face became engulfed with fire.

  
¨Remus, your face!¨ Patton cried out, as he began to try and snuff out the flames. Yet, he couldn't get rid of the new fire which burned in his heart.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
That little incident had been a few weeks ago, and kickstarted his downward spiral over Patton, and the want to feel that feeling of touch, of love again. He currently laid in a secluded room on the hardwood floor, away from the others all by himself, curled up in his favorite green sweater that said the phrase, ¨There's a snake in my butt¨ in white bold letters, with a crudely drawn picture of said phrase. Not something appropriate by the others standards, but hey, it was fluffy and comfortable, and imitated the feeling of touch. Sometimes a little too well, but it never came too close to the feeling he so desperately needed. That warmth. He needed something else.

  
The couch. . . of course, the couch! That was the perfect place for him to try and ease the pain!! He jumped up from the floor, his black and green striped sweatpants slightly baggy on his frame. Remus slid his feet, covered in a pair of fuzzy socks covered in messy sharpie drawings (courtesy of Virgil), into a pair of black sides. The socks were old, covered in multiple patches from years of wear and tear, but they kept him grounded (about as grounded as he could be me) in reality. They were an important tool to soothe that ache. He shook his head, trying to fix his messy hair, quickly giving up when it refused to cooperate, and teleported to the Light Sides common room. One benefit of being a dark side and the certified manager of intrusive thoughts is that he had the ability to pop up just about anywhere he wanted to in a matter of seconds. He sunk onto the couch, hoping the ache would cease. Despite its soft and secure feeling, it still wasn't enough. What could he-

  
His eyes stopped as he landed on a blanket draped on the couch arm, a weighted blanket he noted. It was a soft light blue and covered in small white polka dots. He vaguely remembered Virgil being snuggled under it before, and being calm. Supposedly it was used to help with anxiety. A means of comfort. Comfort. . .  
Remus reached for the blanket and put it over his body. He felt the effects as instant relief flooded his senses. He curled more into the couch, his head pressed into the cushions. His eyes began to droop.

  
¨Remus?¨

  
His eyes snapped open, quickly met with Patton´s gaze. Remus yelped, kicking off the blanket, and rolling off the couch, crashing on the floor, Patton was here! He was right there. He scrambled up from the floor, leaning slightly onto the couch.

  
¨Uh hey Patton. Wh-what are you doing here?¨

  
¨Well, I was going to get some cookies and my blanket.¨  
Remus felt his mouth dry.

  
¨That- I thought it was Virgil´s?¨

  
¨I mean, Virgil usually uses it when he feels anxious, but it is mine. Logan gave it to me to help with, you know, stress and stuff like that.

¨  
¨Right, well sorry for using your blanket. I´ll be going no-¨

A hand cupped his right cheek. Remus froze, terrified, but felt himself lean into the touch. It must´ve been a pathetic sight, someone like him to completely melt by a single ounce of love. He avoided looking at Patton, the overwhelming fear of judgement flooding his senses. Tears started to form in his eyes as he broke down, collapsing into Patton's arms.

  
¨Remus! Oh my-”

  
The other side caught him before and quickly guided them over to the couch. Remus sat down, leaning himself on the couch´s arms as he vigorously tried to wipe away the tears on his sweater sleeve. It didn't do much. He let out a bitter laugh.

  
¨Why is this so damn hard. Why can't I just- just stop!¨ Remus screeched. Patton glanced at him.

  
¨Stop what?¨

  
¨You know. . . this!¨

  
Remus gestured to the tear marks forming on his face.

  
¨Remus, take it from me. Repressing your emotions isn't the best thing,¨ Patton said. He took one of Remus´s hands and laced them together. It was nice and warm, a big contrast to his cool hand. 

  
¨Okay, if I can't do that, what can I do to stop this?¨

  
He brushed some more tears, his sweater sleeve becoming increasingly damp.

  
¨I mean, I have an idea. I noticed you seem to like the touch of others? I thought maybe, we could cuddle. . . if it's okay with you of course!¨

  
Remus´ eyes went wide, the tears stopping as he looked over Patton. The other man had a bright red blush across his face as he let out a nervous chuckle.

  
¨Of- of course,¨ Remus managed to get out. Was this really happening? He felt Patton cuddle up more near him, leaning his head onto his shoulders, his black rimmed glasses slightly tugging on the sweater. His head leaned onto Patton´s as well, his heartbeat increasing after each moment they sat together like this as the ache began to subside. It was terribly quiet though, and Remus wasn't a huge fan of silence.

  
¨Hey Pat?¨

  
¨Yeah?¨

  
¨Did you know there's this fish species called Snakeheads and they're truly a fish out of water! They can walk on land!¨

  
¨Remus-¨

  
His pulse increased as nervousness wracked his body even more, beginning to ramble some more.

  
¨Or the fact there are at least 200 corpses on Mt. Everest, They´re actually used to help guide other hikers up!¨

  
¨Remus-¨

  
¨Or some butterflies like to drink human bloo-¨

  
He felt an arm wrap out around him, and the words stopped from flying his mouth.

  
¨Sorry. . . I´m sorry.¨

  
¨It's fine Rem. I just got worried.¨

  
¨What? Why would you worry about me?

¨Ï thought it was obvious?¨

  
¨. . .Obvious?¨

  
Patton remained quiet for a few moments, and the anticipation irked Remus. He slightly tightened his grip on Patton´s hand.

  
¨IcareaboutyouandIkindoflikeyou!¨

  
The words took a moment to process. Remus broke away from Patton´s embrace, shaking his hand away from Patton´s with wide eyes. Had he just imagined that? There was no way. It must´ve been some sort of joke.

  
¨You´re lying.¨

  
¨I´m not,¨ Patton said back, his voice light. His gaze did not break away from Remus. He didn´t know whether to laugh or cry.

  
¨But why? My thoughts are fucked up. My ideas are fucked up. I´m a-

  
Patton gave him a gentle peck on the cheek, and Remus stopped rambling. Patton blushed as he pulled away.

  
¨I think this would be a good time to mention I also like you, a lot.¨

  
Patton giggled as he held out a hand to Remus which he took with his own.

  
¨Remus, could you please avocuddle me already?¨

  
That was fucking adorable. Remus tugged Patton towards him, another little giggle coming from Patton´s throat which made Remus´s stomach flutter with moths. The two huddled close to each other, Remus loving the warmth and love that Patton gave. He snuggled deeper into the other's arms. Patton absentmindedly stroked his hair as Remus rambled senseless facts. It didn't take long for his eyes to become droopy as he drifted off, safe in the arms of someone who cared for him. Loved him.

  
They stayed like that the entire night, only woken up by the dramatic shouts from Roman about a ¨dark side¨ being in their domain. It didn't matter to Remus though. For the first in his life time the ache had almost completely faded and he felt joy, his arms wrapped around the one person who had shown him kindness and love.


End file.
